


Sex Ed for Speedsters

by WhiteWitchDark



Series: The Flash and The Arrow [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteWitchDark/pseuds/WhiteWitchDark
Summary: If Caitlin can't nail Barry down for this conversation, she'll take Oliver instead.  With Cisco's help of course.





	Sex Ed for Speedsters

Oliver found Caitlin in one of the labs, frowning at a computer screen with Cisco.  He knocked lightly on the door before going in, smiling at the pair, “Where’s Barry?”

“He bolted.” Caitlin grumbled, “I need to talk to him about sex, but he keeps getting embarrassed and running out.”  She glanced up, “Oh my god!  What happened?”  She came around the desk quickly.  Cisco looked up at her yell, his mouth dropping open at the red stain on Oliver’s white shirt.  Oliver shrugged with a somewhat bitter smile, “I let Detective West have his gun back.”

“Joe shot you?” Cisco sounded confused, “Why would he do that?”

“He doesn’t approve of me.” Oliver replied as Caitlin shooed him towards the medical centre.  

 

Cisco followed them out, feeling a little guilty about leaving Oliver and Joe together now.  Barry should have said something…  Though, somehow, Cisco didn’t think _Barry_ would believe Joe had actually shot his boyfriend.  The shovel talk was _normal._ It was perfectly acceptable for Joe to _threaten_ to shoot his kids’ boyfriends.  But he wasn’t meant to do it.  Wasn’t it meant to be an empty threat?  A joke?  Cisco shuck his head, not sure what to think.  He’d had his share of those threats, but faced with the reality of them, suddenly they didn’t seem acceptable at all. 

 

Oliver stripped off his shirt and settled himself gingerly onto the bed.  Caitlin felt a rush of gratitude that The Arrow wasn’t hiding his pain from her; it was so much easier to work on people who told you where it hurt.  Caitlin bit her lip as she stitched the wound on Oliver’s side.  It wasn’t deep, the Arrow’s reflexes had kicked in and he’d moved so the bullet had just sliced him open rather than punching through.  “Oliver…”

“Yes?” He asked.  Caitlin sounded strange.

“I wasn’t joking.  I do need to talk to Barry about sex.  It’s…” she tied off the thread and straightened up, looking at Oliver, “I’m his doctor and I need to know what effect it’s having on his system.  I think, given your reputation, it might be an easier conversation to have with you and then you can talk to him.”

“What about medical confidentiality?” Oliver asked, something about this whole conversation striking him as wrong.

“I’d need to ask him.  Would you be willing..?”  Caitlin started packing away the medical supplies.

“Give me one good reason why I should?” Oliver asked, a bit startled and a bit nervous.  He began to inspect his shirt to hide it.  Deciding the stain could be explained easily enough, he began to pull it on but Cisco snorted, shook his head and took it off him, “It’s white dude, that’s not going to work.”

She straightened her shoulders and looked back at him, “Barry can vibrate.  When he vibrates his entire body, his burns almost double the usual amount of calories.  When he vibrates his vocal cords, he burns 2.9% more.  I need to know if he vibrates during sex so I can made adjustments to his diet so he doesn’t go into hypoglycemic shock.”

 

Okay, Oliver nodded, that was a good reason, but he did not want to discuss his sex life with anyone…  “If Barry agrees.”  Caitlin was right, Barry didn’t have much experience, and Oliver knew very well that he was prone to bolting when embarrassed, which was kind of endearing in a weird way.

“Great, I’ll go call him!” Cisco jumped up and ran from the room.

“Is Cisco having this conversation too?” Oliver asked, looking a bit startled.  Caitlin just bit her lip.

A few moments later, Oliver’s phone buzzed.  The text message read _‘Thank you, thank you, thank you - I so do not want to have that conversation’._ A second later, Cisco practically skipped into the room.  He threw Oliver a grin and tossed him a STAR labs long sleeved T-shirt.

“OK”, Oliver looked a little lost as he caught the top and pulled it on.  At least this way he wouldn’t have to look at them… “The vibration thing is usually on purpose.  If I get him really excited, then he…“ Oliver shrugged helplessly, “It just happens, but usually it’s on purpose so it doesn’t happen every time.”

“His whole body vibrates?” Caitlin sounded clinical.

“Not usually”, he was blushing, he was sure he was blushing.  Cisco had the strangest look on his face, like he was scared to laugh, which made perfect sense, because although he tried not to kill anymore, the Arrow did have a body count, and it wasn’t like he was that averse to adding to it…

 

“…OLIVER?”

He jumped at Caitlin’s yell, “What was the question?”

Caitlin sighed, “When it’s unintentional, does he vibrate all over?”

“Yes.”

“And when it’s intentional?”

“No, not usually, just… bits.”

“How often does it happen?”

Oliver looked at her strangely, “Does what happen?  Vibrate all over?  Not often.  He’s always tired after I do... that and he might need to get back to Central in a hurry.”

“How long does he go for?” Cisco chimed in, “We speculated he wouldn’t be able to last long with his metabolism.  What?” he returned Caitlin’s glare with a look of pure innocence.

Oliver stood up abruptly, “This conversation needs alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.”  He strode towards the door.  It also needed his errant boyfriend to answer the questions, but Oliver didn’t think that was going to happen any time soon.  “Are you coming?” he called over his shoulder into the stunned silence.

**Author's Note:**

> So, where does the conversation go from here? Will Barry ever show up? I'm open to suggestions for questions from our resident scientists...


End file.
